When It All Comes to An End

Today is Friday, November 18th, 2011, and it has been exactly 11 weeks since I first came to Lima; and tonight I leave. While I´m beyond excited to go back to see my family, at the same time I am also really sad to leave the environment in which I feel I grew so much as an individual these past 2.5 months. I´ll miss the Cross Cultural Solutions volunteer house, filled with its warm, friendly staff and the laughter of my fellow volunteers. I´ll miss Fe y Alegria #17, my teaching routine, and having the girls bombard me with relationship questions at random intervals of time. I feel like both my home and work atmosphere made my time here as amazing as it was. Since I was here for so long, I had the liberty of seeing 4 different volunteer groups come and go, and it was interesting to see how to the house-dynamic changed with each group. There were two people I really bonded with though, Mark and Meghan, who were from the 3rd group with whom I spent the most amount of time with. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love laughing, and these two brought out the best of my humor that had unfortunately been lying a bit dormant for some months now, and for that I will be forever thankful. I came to Lima thinking that I had to be serious for the majority of the time, since volunteer work by nature should be somber, right? Wrong. The laughter that I shared with my housemates when I wasn´t working transferred into my teaching routine, as I became more animated and took myself less seriously in the classroom (something that I think really helped get my teaching points across to the girls and the boys). All in all, I never thought I would have as much fun as I did here in Lima, but I did. Laughter transcends cultures and boundaries, and all the fun I had made me concentrate more on living in the moment instead of worrying about homesickness. That´s probably also why I was so serious and tense the beginning of my trip, since I thought that in a few weeks time from the start-date of my program I would be heart-achingly homesick, yet that never actually happened. I´m still kind of scared that it will happen with my next adventure, but for now, I´m so grateful I had all the experiences that I had here in Lima. The people here, the Limenos I mean, are one of a kind people. They´re so open, sweet, and easygoing, and I will never forget the amazing teachers and the curious students that I met at Fe y Alegria, nor the people that I met out and about the city. I know that anytime I come back to Lima I´d have at least 10 places to stay, and that sense of hospitality, radiating from these peoples, really touched me. Thank you Lima, you will forever remain in my heart as a beautiful, eclectic city that rendered me a young adult, instead of merely a teenager.

My Newest Endeavor...

I`ve realized - perhaps obviously - that a large part of the reason that adolescent Peruvian girls enter into unprotected sexual relationships is because of the guys. If the guys don`t specifically tell the girls that they want to use a condom, the girls will stay quiet and not even touch upon the issue. Thus, I decided to begin talking to groups of adolescent boys about the importance of condom-usage, just like how I talked to the girls about the importance of using both a condom and birth control pills if they are sexually active. However, from an anthropological standpoint, it was interesting how the way in which I had to approach this topic to the females was completely different than how I had to approach it with the boys. While the premise of what I was discussing was exactly the same (how use methods of birth control and the importance of using them), I had to alter the way I spoke to the two different sexes in order to get them to listen to what I had to say. With the girls, I was soft-spoken and used a very serious tone of voice, while with the boys I was a lot louder and a bit more hardcore, kind of like a drill seargent (the only thing missing from my spiel was yelling "DROP AND GIMME TWENTY!"). My approach to get the boys to wear condoms consisted of this:

Top 3 Reasons Why You Should Wear A Condom:

1) Some girls will try to manipulate you and tell you that they won`t get pregnant if you don`t use a condom. They only do this in order to have your baby and finagle you into being not only their husband, but also their economic provider. I ask you, "Do you want to be married at age 16?" If so, have fun saying goodbye to your hard-earned money.... AND your freedom.

2) Wear a condom because the withdrawal method does not work when used as an independent form of birth control because of its high failure rate. I ask you, what guy has the self-control to pull out right as he is in his moment of ecstasy? (all the guys mulled silently over this one......). Thus, it is easier just to use a condom and feel all the pleasure you want instead of having to remember to pull out.

3) Imagine if you have sexual relations with a girl that has already had certain sexual relations with some of your friends. If you don`t use a condom ..... It`s like having sex with your friends. I ask you... Do you have a strong desire to have sex with your best friends?

Overall, the boys seemed to respond to these reasons to wear a condom a lot better than by me just telling them, "wear a condom so that the girl won`t get pregnant and so you won`t get STDS." While it may be a bit risky to be telling the boys such things in a Catholic-run school, the reality is that sexual health needs to be discussed with today`s youth, and it needs to be discussed in innovative ways that really resonate with the new generation.

Beach Trip and Halloween

....... Bewilderment ......

So today, I gave a sexual education talk to a different class of girls at the school. My goal by doing this: trying to engrain into the girls' brains to use contraception every time! After class, 4 girls came up to me and confided in me that they've been having unprotected sex, because "it just happened." To me, that is no excuse; Villa El Salvador's clinics offer free condoms/birth control pills to whomever wants them (unless they run out, in which case you're out of luck for that night), so you have plenty of time to plan ahead. When I told them about the clinics, they made some excuse that sometimes the clinics don't give condoms to girls etc. etc. etc. Thus, I proceeded trying to tell the girls that they should go to the store and buy condoms themselves, they're not that expensive. Their response: It's too embarrassing. My response? Would you rather suffer 5 minutes of embarrassment or have to single-handedly take care of a child at your young age? They mulled over that, and I seemed to have put certain things into perspective for them with this comment. However, they still complained that buying condoms at the pharmacy is too embarrassing. So I told them that their homework for the week is to go in a group to the pharmacy - so that it's less awkward - and buy condoms. If they do that, and can prove to me that they did it by bringing in either the condoms that they bought or the receipt, I will reimburse them by buying a condom for each of the condoms that THEY bought..... Yup. I'm wondering now if this was a good idea, but these girls need to learn somehow... If it takes me going out to a Peruvian supermarket and asking for a hundred condoms in order to help these girls' have a healthy sex-life, I will do so.

Overall though, I am just totally bewildered and sad that these girls know a lot about birth control, yet never APPLY it. And then they have multiple kids with multiple guys, and lament their lost adolescence. Well I'm here to tell them that they can do something about this. If they would only follow my advice....

Family Relations and Domestic Violence

I've been noticing that when I talk to the girls, they've become super open with me and will all want me to help them solve their personal problems. It's great that they trust me and my advice, but I am not all-knowing. Each class period, if we have some time left, one by one the girls will come up to me and talk to me about their love lives/family lives/friends, asking me for advice on how to handle different situations. More often than not I will ask the other girls in the class what THEY think should be done, since I can only offer one perspective while a group forum can offer multiple perspectives on what should be done. However, I love that these girls and I are starting to form a bond, and I'm honestly learning just as much from them as (hopefully) they are from me. There was one girl that came up to me and quietly said that even though I talked about loving yourself, she didn't feel like she actually loved herself. She said she would always crush on boys who wouldn't like her back, and who would instead like her more open, flirty peers. I told her that instead of focusing on what she deems the "bad" aspects of her personality, she should name 5 things to me that she's proud of regarding her personality. As she considered this possibility she suddenly became more animated and began listing off things that she liked about herself. I told her that she should never change the person who she is, not for anyone or anything. It may take a few years time, but she will ultimately one day find a guy who appreciates her for  who she is.

Now that I've pretty much completed the first course of my interactive discussions (focusing on loving yourself as a woman and not tolerating sexism), I'm going to start a chapter on family relations and domestic violence. Unfortunately, the district of Villa El Salvador (in Lima), has a vast amount of domestic violence allegations which mostly goes unnoticed by the (mainly) male police force. This is why, a few years back, the district was the first to create an all-female police force specifically for domestic disputes. Even though Villa is taking steps toward a progressive future, there is still more violence than most anywhere else. While I can't do that much, my plan is to educate the girls about domestic violence and give them all the necessary information about the female police force, which is called DEMUNA (like phone number, email address, locations), just so they are aware it exists and how to get in touch with the organization. Next on the agenda would be to stress the importance of communication within members of a household. I will give each of the girls a piece of paper and an envelope for them to write a letter to either their mother, father, or both, and they will have to write what they are thankful for, and what they wish could be changed and how their parent(s) could bring about that change. I hope to give these sealed envelopes to the girls' homeroom teacher so that she can give each of these letters to the respective parents when they come in for a parent-teacher meeting.

Let's see how it goes.

Fun Fact: I'm getting really into the Peruvian national soccer team. Best players = Vargas and Pizarro. Colors = red and white. Score: beat Paraguay, lost to Chile. People get CRAAAAZZZZYYY over here when Peru wins, and I love love love being in the midst of all the chaos (especially when they win.. like on friday night. I'm pretty sure I was on peruvian television haha)

The Jungle.... 'Nuff Said.

pretty!

canopy walk

hiking :)

Rowing Crew.... in the Amazon?

Beat that East Coast college students ;)

"Turn and Face the Strange"

Honestly, I think the best thing for me to do at this point in my life is to be taking this gap year. While it's only been a month since I arrived here in Lima, I can already feel this year-off working its magic, and I can only imagine what the rest of this year will do for me. These past couple years of my life have been quite stressful, too stressful I think for a 16/17 year-old girl, since at that delicate age, I think every adolescent should be entitled to the frivolous pleasures of their youth. While I definitely have some of the most wonderful memories of this time in my life that I will cherish forever, unfortunately a lot of Junior year and half of Senior year were very academically rigorous, and the last few months of Senior year were emotionally very distressing for me. As a person who doesn't like change, the last few months of Senior Year brought with them a vast amount of just that. Not only was high school ending and I was probably never going to see all my amazing classmates all in one room together again, but if high school was ending, regardless of whether I was going to college or taking my gap year, I was going to have to leave my family behind and start my adult life anew; I was so scared to leave my parents, the people who raised me to be who I am today, and the single people who I will always cherish above all else. In my mind, all this change only signified impending doom, and I noticed myself becoming more withdrawn and sort of unsure of who exactly I was. Up until that point, my greatest bragging right was that I always knew exactly who I was and what it was that I stood for. Sadly though, all my emotional turmoil brought on by such huge changes in my life threatened my self-esteem, and it made me angry that I couldn't just be the way I was before, carefree, boisterous, and joyous. Looking back, I think I felt as if I was carrying a titanic burden on my back made up of all the upcoming change in my life, and carrying that burden pained me.
This process though - this year (mainly) committed to stress-free living and learning about things greater and more important than academic or social success - is helping me already, I can feel it. I have to say deactivating my facebook definitely had a lot to do with this, since right now, I'm trying not to concern myself with the superficiality brought on by technology always being right at our fingertips. As to not live like a total hermit though (... I do have social needs), my closest friends and loved ones have my email address, so I get to hear from all the people I care about; what could be better? With my volunteer work, being by myself, and in a new culture/country, internally I can feel myself relaxing a bit, loosening my grip on all the world's seriousness, and at the same time, learning how to help myself and others in times of trouble and turmoil. Call it a mimicry of Julia Roberts' character in Eat, Pray, Love (that movie stunk by the way), or soul-searching, but I definitely think I'm doing the right thing by being here and doing what I'm doing.


Fun Fact: I'm taking a trip to the Peruvian AMAZON RAINFOREST this weekend.... i'm quite excited! monkeys! tucans! mosquitos! oh my!!! :] :]

You Are.... I Am....

There have been a lot of "firsts" in these past 3 weeks. Today was my first day tutoring kids in English.  Apparently, I was supposed to have 12 students who all needed the extra help in English since they were behind their peers in the course material.

4 students showed up! hahaha - Also, I was given this teeny tiny classroom to teach in... It kind of looked like Harry Potter's cupboard under the stairs, just filled to the brim with desks and a whiteboard that didn't have any markers (so I had to write the english words I was teaching them down in really big lettering in my journal and hold it up for the kids to see). I tried, to not much avail, to get the students attention: mainly by bouncing around and being smiley and bubbly and talking to them in a mixture of spanish and english. Then I had a brilliant idea though: I told the 4 kids that were privy to my english tutoring that if they paid attention for the next 30 minutes, they would get out 10 minutes early. And hey! It worked! So, today what I taught them was the verb "to be".... I made sure to explain that while in spanish there is "Ser" and "Estar" ... in english there is only one verb meaning "to be".... So, these four kids learned how to say "I am...." and "You are...." I would ask them one by one "What do you do?" and then they would answer me, "I am.... a student/doctor/profession of their choice etc." ... Then I finished the class by asking them, "What do I do?" and they would all repeat "You are a teacher." So...... fruitful? I think sort of. :) We'll see how this progresses. I'm thinking that playing games with them might make them a little bit more excited to come to class, so I told them next Thursday we'll be playing some games, so get pumped! haha

Fun Fact: There is a juice here in Peru called Chicha Morada and it is made with a combination of purple corn juice, cinnamon, and grated pineapple. Quite a combination, no?

Gender-Studies.... In Spanish

Today was the day that the teachers of "grado quinto" (the equivalent of American High School Seniors, I believe), let me give my gender-studies talk to the 16-year-old girls of that grade. I wanted to make the "lesson" as un-lessony as possible, so I tried to create an interactive setting for the girls to express their opinions and ideas. I kicked off the conversation by asking the girls to throw out adjectives that they feel describe women, and once there was a list of about 15 adjectives on the board, the 30+ girls in the class would get into two groups and choose which 3 adjectives they felt BEST described femininity. A couple of the words that they came up with were "unique, hard workers, fighters, responsible." Similarly, I then asked the girls to throw out adjectives that would best describe the attributes of their "ideal man," their "prince." Needless to say, being 16-year-old girls, they enjoyed this exercise. Then, I asked the girls to imagine that they were stranded on a desert island by themselves. Suddenly, they see a raft floating toward them, holding one single man who will soon join them on the island. Splitting them up into the same groups as before, in this activity I asked each group to think carefully about which 3 attributes they would deem most important to have in a man if they were to spend the rest of their lives alone with him on this island. Some of the answers they came up with were "hard worker, not macho, meticulous, loyal." (By the way, note to the reader: all of these activities and lessons were given and received entirely in Spanish). After that, I asked the girls to name some characteristics that describe a not-so-good man, getting answers such as "aggressive, macho, lier, cheater."

The goal of issuing these exercises in tandem and in this particular order was to aid my lesson to the girls that they are all deserving of having a caring, healthy, and loving relationship. In no way should they ever feel inferior or submissive because they should feel comfortable with the women they are. I ended the discussion by saying that key to having a healthy loving relationship is as follows:

1) Feel comfortable with yourself as a woman

2) Don't tolerate sexism/machismo

3) Know what you are looking for in a man/relationship

4) -- If you do all of the above, you can find yourself a healthy relationship. 

At the tail end of the class period I allowed the girls to ask me questions, and it kind of turned into an advice column discussion. Some of the girls questions were very poignant such as the girl who asked "if you are in a relationship and do all the work/give all the affection to your partner while they don't do all that much, is that okay?" (this answer, although very difficult sometimes to put into practice would be no: every relationship, regardless of whether familial, friendly, or romantic, should be a two-way-street where each person contributes equally). What was most surprising to me though was that 3 girls in the class asked me virtually the same question: "If a boy says he likes me but has a girlfriend, is he telling the truth and should I continue to invest my interest in him?" (LADDDIEEESSSS OBVIOUSLY THE ANSWER IS NO!!!! You shouldn't have to share your man. If he really loves you, he will have and show affection for you and ONLY you.) All in all, I hope I could show the girls a bit of what I know; while I am no expert in relationships, I fiercely believe that every girl AND boy deserve to be treated equally and to be in a healthy and loving relationship with the other one. What I understand to be the teachers' concerns regarding the girls and boys at the school are that they oftentimes have examples of violence or unequal partnerships at home, and unfortunately repeat these patterns in their own lives, being either the oppressors or the oppressed. Hopefully, my frank, open discussions with the girls (and frank, open gender-discussions with the boys by a beloved male teacher) can help them become more comfortable in who they are and what they stand for; because ultimately, before you love someone else, you have to love yourself. 

Fun Fact: There are two things that very concretely transcend the boundaries of cultures around the globe. These would be 1) math........ and 2) love. :]

An End to a Great First Two Weeks

Today marks my first 2 weeks of participation in the Cross Cultural Solutions Lima, Peru Program. To put this into perspective: I have 9 more weeks to go... BRING IT!!! Unfortunately though, today also marks the end of 8 volunteers' participation in the program. They all work for the pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly, and were on a paid trip to be here, but have to return now. This afternoon we had a debriefing session about each of our placements, and we all got super emotional at them all having to leave. It's a bit like high school theater (if anyone can relate), in that you spend SO much time with a select group of people, that you all begin to really care for eachother/share inside jokes etc. These 8 wonderful people include Kate (a soft-spoken, intelligent professional), Ann (a hilarious, outgoing scientist whose sport of choice is shooting), Bianca (a shy, sweet australian pharmacist), Patricia (an optimistic, bubbly woman who actually isn't part of Eli Lilly, but is leaving the same day anyway), Laura (a really motherly woman whose side interests include blood and guts and axel rose impersonations), Angelo (an introspective yet talkative man with many interesting life stories to tell), Jorge (a fatherly guy from Puerto Rico),  and LaShanda (a relatively shy woman with a great sense of humor and love of Basketball Wives [just like me!!!]). Spending these past 2 weeks with all of the above people, I have to say that my faith in humanity's intrinsic goodness has been restored. Each and every one of these people absolutely loved the specific volunteer work that they did (whether it be working with autistic kids, preschoolers, or the elderly), and it was obvious that they all had strong core values of respect, responsibility, and genuine love for the world and other cultures. I think that in today's society there's the very real danger of getting too caught up in work or getting ahead or looking for the next big break/big thing that people lose sight of what is truly important and fulfilling, and I think that it's beautiful that these people have such important priorities in life. I can only hope that I'll be able to see them again soon, but until then, I'm so grateful to have been able to spend two wonderful weeks with them (volunteering, singing some crazy karaoke, and coming up with inside jokes). These types of people are the reason for all the goodness in the world.

Fun Fact: Kate introduced me to a website called www.askames.com ... where all of your life's weirdest questions can be answered. Subscribe, type in a question, and ta-daaaa you have a hilarious and oftentimes very sardonic response. Do yourself a favor and try it, it'll make you laugh! :)






 

Getting Schooled in Spanish

Today was a beast of a day, no other way to describe it. Yesterday and today there was no school at Fe y Alegria #17 (the school in Villa El Salvador that I teach at), since there were teacher seminars. I, being a pseudo-teacher, got to attend one of these privileged ceremonies that only true educators the world over attend. Basically, I got to listen to the teachers' plans to make the high school a safe, comfortable place for their students, instill in them a sense of motivation etc. ... and it was ALL in Spanish. Now, my 7+ years of Spanish have their benefits, so make no mistake, I could understand most of what all the teachers were saying, I just had to sit rigidly in my chair with my ears perked and ready to pick up each and every word they were saying. The sheer concentration that was needed in order for me to get the gist of what the profesores were talking about was SUPER tiring, but I survived. Turns out, it was crucial that I be there at the teachers' conference, since a large part of what they were discussing was how to incorporate me and my ideas into their class schedules. Picture this: me the foreigner, surrounded by about 40 peruvian teachers, each telling me (at the same time) that I could come in and talk to their class at this certain hour. I probably appeared stupid asking each of them about 20 times when they wanted me to come to their class, but I ended up getting a rough outline of the following schedule. On Mondays from 8:30 until 11:30, I'll be giving gender-specific talks to girls of different grade levels, each for about an hour. On Tuesdays, from 8:30-9:10 I'll tutor kids needing extra help in English, and then have some more gender-talks (with different classes). On Wednesdays I don't have anything planned of yet, while on Thursdays from 8:30-9:10 I'll tutor those same kids needing extra help in English, and then do some more gender-talks. On Friday, I don't have much planned either. Now we shall see how this works out..... I'm excited though to talk to the girls in different classes about female independence, and learn what they view their roles in life to be (as wives? mothers? professionals?). I'm planning on initiating group discussion, because I think that's the best mode for students to comprehend new concepts and ideas; that way, not only are they hearing ideas from their teacher, but they are hearing their peers' ideas as well.

Fun Fact: today... driving in Villa El Salvador, I saw a lady walking down the street..... completely nude...... and I was privileged to see both full frontal and full back view. I feel bad for her because there's no other explanation for this other than the fact that she probably has severe mental problems. She was smiling though, so I bet she's enjoying the liberation that comes with shedding one's clothing. More power to her!

A Day Of Lessons

So yesterday I had a great day at the school where I'm placed at for my volunteer work. There was a teacher there, a certain Seniorita Margot, who loved all the ideas that I brought forth to possibly change up her classroom environment. She told me she would really like it if I worked with her 14 and 15 year olds, since she thought they needed what I was willing to offer. I told her I would love to not only teach English, but also maybe do some sort of gender-studies courses with the students, and maybe even a playwriting class (where there can be a friendly competition of sorts to get their creative juices flowing, and then the winning play would be performed.) Although I merely observed her class yesterday, she said that hopefully by Thursday she would have a schedule figured out for me of what I can do.

Yesterday night was also really fun. I went out on the town with Angelo, LaShonda, Alika, Chris, and Patricia (5 of the volunteers I'm working with), and it was really interesting to spend quality time with people who are older than me and therefore have had so many experiences in life that they were willing to share about. Angelo especially was very wise with the things he said; he talked about life, love, and the lessons we learn in between, and it was refreshing to hear someone I barely know be so open about such things with me. It makes me realize that we as humans all go through more or less the same good times and sad/hard times, and that realization had a way of comforting me; when the going gets tough, I will never be the only person having difficulties.

Fun Fact: LIMA IS FREEZING DURING THEIR WINTER SEASON, so beware!!!!!! Also, speaking of temperature, did you know that the Incas domesticated a certain dog called a "hairless dog" (it doesn't have fur, poor thing), and since for some reason it's body temperature is really hot, the Incan kings would cuddle with them as their own personal source of heat? ..........

Beginning My Volunteer Work

For me, the whole point of coming to Lima was to kick off the start of my gap year and to do something on a grassroots level, instead of just theorizing in a classroom. I signed up with the American organization Cross Cultural Solutions, or CCS for short, which is a large-scale volunteer-placement organization operating in countries like, but not limited to, Peru, Thailand, Guatemala, South Africa, Ghana etc. Specifically, since women's issues is a subject close to my heart, I signed up to do something along the lines of women's empowerment. The placement that I got though was slightly different; apparently I will be teaching english to elementary/high-school students for the next 3 months. What I would love to do though is maybe ask the teachers to do some sort of gender-studies class, and break the boys and the girls up during a class-period once a week. If that happened, I could talk to the girls about what they believe their roles in life are, and hopefully show them that they are not limited to merely being only wives and mothers.
However, I still need to talk to the program manager about this.....

Today was my first day, and since I wasn't given much of a structure of what to do, I basically just observed a a first-grade class-room setting.... to give you a rough idea of how this was, there were 35 six-year-olds in the room who were all jumping on top of me... hahahaha. On another note, the volunteer house is really cozy. There are about 15 volunteers in total in the house, and we are fed breakfast, lunch, and dinner there. From 8 until 1:00 we work at our placements, at 2 we have lunch, and the afternoon we pretty much get to ourselves.

Fun Fact: There are these weird Peruvian crackers that are advertised all over the placed called ForTuna, and at first I was like ewwwwwww what a gross name to name crackers, even if they ARE designed to be eaten with tuna fish. I think I've finally figured it out though -- The name means "Fortune" in spanish. *REVELATION*

And then there was Lima.....

It was off to Lima, Peru, on August 31st to begin the 3 month start to my year-long break from school.  

At first glance from behind the window of a taxi-cab, Lima, Peru seems intimidating. It's a gigantic city with wide roads teeming with traffic and people. For the first 4 days in the city, my mother and I stayed in a very nice hotel by the ocean and explored the areas around it. What I came to realize is that you should try to limit the districts you walk around in in Lima, and stick to that. If you attempt to navigate the 40+ districts in Lima.... well, I wish you good luck. There are some really cute restaurants and cafes in the district Barranco, while the district Miraflores offers a nice shopping street called Avenida Larco and a shopping mall called Larcomar.

Fun Fact: There's a park in Miraflores called Parque Kennedy, and is home to over 50 different abandoned cats. A private organization made up of neighbors from the district take care of these cats; they feed them every day as well as vaccinate them. :) awww