When It All Comes to An End

Today is Friday, November 18th, 2011, and it has been exactly 11 weeks since I first came to Lima; and tonight I leave. While I´m beyond excited to go back to see my family, at the same time I am also really sad to leave the environment in which I feel I grew so much as an individual these past 2.5 months. I´ll miss the Cross Cultural Solutions volunteer house, filled with its warm, friendly staff and the laughter of my fellow volunteers. I´ll miss Fe y Alegria #17, my teaching routine, and having the girls bombard me with relationship questions at random intervals of time. I feel like both my home and work atmosphere made my time here as amazing as it was. Since I was here for so long, I had the liberty of seeing 4 different volunteer groups come and go, and it was interesting to see how to the house-dynamic changed with each group. There were two people I really bonded with though, Mark and Meghan, who were from the 3rd group with whom I spent the most amount of time with. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love laughing, and these two brought out the best of my humor that had unfortunately been lying a bit dormant for some months now, and for that I will be forever thankful. I came to Lima thinking that I had to be serious for the majority of the time, since volunteer work by nature should be somber, right? Wrong. The laughter that I shared with my housemates when I wasn´t working transferred into my teaching routine, as I became more animated and took myself less seriously in the classroom (something that I think really helped get my teaching points across to the girls and the boys). All in all, I never thought I would have as much fun as I did here in Lima, but I did. Laughter transcends cultures and boundaries, and all the fun I had made me concentrate more on living in the moment instead of worrying about homesickness. That´s probably also why I was so serious and tense the beginning of my trip, since I thought that in a few weeks time from the start-date of my program I would be heart-achingly homesick, yet that never actually happened. I´m still kind of scared that it will happen with my next adventure, but for now, I´m so grateful I had all the experiences that I had here in Lima. The people here, the Limenos I mean, are one of a kind people. They´re so open, sweet, and easygoing, and I will never forget the amazing teachers and the curious students that I met at Fe y Alegria, nor the people that I met out and about the city. I know that anytime I come back to Lima I´d have at least 10 places to stay, and that sense of hospitality, radiating from these peoples, really touched me. Thank you Lima, you will forever remain in my heart as a beautiful, eclectic city that rendered me a young adult, instead of merely a teenager.

My Newest Endeavor...

I`ve realized - perhaps obviously - that a large part of the reason that adolescent Peruvian girls enter into unprotected sexual relationships is because of the guys. If the guys don`t specifically tell the girls that they want to use a condom, the girls will stay quiet and not even touch upon the issue. Thus, I decided to begin talking to groups of adolescent boys about the importance of condom-usage, just like how I talked to the girls about the importance of using both a condom and birth control pills if they are sexually active. However, from an anthropological standpoint, it was interesting how the way in which I had to approach this topic to the females was completely different than how I had to approach it with the boys. While the premise of what I was discussing was exactly the same (how use methods of birth control and the importance of using them), I had to alter the way I spoke to the two different sexes in order to get them to listen to what I had to say. With the girls, I was soft-spoken and used a very serious tone of voice, while with the boys I was a lot louder and a bit more hardcore, kind of like a drill seargent (the only thing missing from my spiel was yelling "DROP AND GIMME TWENTY!"). My approach to get the boys to wear condoms consisted of this:

Top 3 Reasons Why You Should Wear A Condom:

1) Some girls will try to manipulate you and tell you that they won`t get pregnant if you don`t use a condom. They only do this in order to have your baby and finagle you into being not only their husband, but also their economic provider. I ask you, "Do you want to be married at age 16?" If so, have fun saying goodbye to your hard-earned money.... AND your freedom.

2) Wear a condom because the withdrawal method does not work when used as an independent form of birth control because of its high failure rate. I ask you, what guy has the self-control to pull out right as he is in his moment of ecstasy? (all the guys mulled silently over this one......). Thus, it is easier just to use a condom and feel all the pleasure you want instead of having to remember to pull out.

3) Imagine if you have sexual relations with a girl that has already had certain sexual relations with some of your friends. If you don`t use a condom ..... It`s like having sex with your friends. I ask you... Do you have a strong desire to have sex with your best friends?

Overall, the boys seemed to respond to these reasons to wear a condom a lot better than by me just telling them, "wear a condom so that the girl won`t get pregnant and so you won`t get STDS." While it may be a bit risky to be telling the boys such things in a Catholic-run school, the reality is that sexual health needs to be discussed with today`s youth, and it needs to be discussed in innovative ways that really resonate with the new generation.

Beach Trip and Halloween

....... Bewilderment ......

So today, I gave a sexual education talk to a different class of girls at the school. My goal by doing this: trying to engrain into the girls' brains to use contraception every time! After class, 4 girls came up to me and confided in me that they've been having unprotected sex, because "it just happened." To me, that is no excuse; Villa El Salvador's clinics offer free condoms/birth control pills to whomever wants them (unless they run out, in which case you're out of luck for that night), so you have plenty of time to plan ahead. When I told them about the clinics, they made some excuse that sometimes the clinics don't give condoms to girls etc. etc. etc. Thus, I proceeded trying to tell the girls that they should go to the store and buy condoms themselves, they're not that expensive. Their response: It's too embarrassing. My response? Would you rather suffer 5 minutes of embarrassment or have to single-handedly take care of a child at your young age? They mulled over that, and I seemed to have put certain things into perspective for them with this comment. However, they still complained that buying condoms at the pharmacy is too embarrassing. So I told them that their homework for the week is to go in a group to the pharmacy - so that it's less awkward - and buy condoms. If they do that, and can prove to me that they did it by bringing in either the condoms that they bought or the receipt, I will reimburse them by buying a condom for each of the condoms that THEY bought..... Yup. I'm wondering now if this was a good idea, but these girls need to learn somehow... If it takes me going out to a Peruvian supermarket and asking for a hundred condoms in order to help these girls' have a healthy sex-life, I will do so.

Overall though, I am just totally bewildered and sad that these girls know a lot about birth control, yet never APPLY it. And then they have multiple kids with multiple guys, and lament their lost adolescence. Well I'm here to tell them that they can do something about this. If they would only follow my advice....

Family Relations and Domestic Violence

I've been noticing that when I talk to the girls, they've become super open with me and will all want me to help them solve their personal problems. It's great that they trust me and my advice, but I am not all-knowing. Each class period, if we have some time left, one by one the girls will come up to me and talk to me about their love lives/family lives/friends, asking me for advice on how to handle different situations. More often than not I will ask the other girls in the class what THEY think should be done, since I can only offer one perspective while a group forum can offer multiple perspectives on what should be done. However, I love that these girls and I are starting to form a bond, and I'm honestly learning just as much from them as (hopefully) they are from me. There was one girl that came up to me and quietly said that even though I talked about loving yourself, she didn't feel like she actually loved herself. She said she would always crush on boys who wouldn't like her back, and who would instead like her more open, flirty peers. I told her that instead of focusing on what she deems the "bad" aspects of her personality, she should name 5 things to me that she's proud of regarding her personality. As she considered this possibility she suddenly became more animated and began listing off things that she liked about herself. I told her that she should never change the person who she is, not for anyone or anything. It may take a few years time, but she will ultimately one day find a guy who appreciates her for  who she is.

Now that I've pretty much completed the first course of my interactive discussions (focusing on loving yourself as a woman and not tolerating sexism), I'm going to start a chapter on family relations and domestic violence. Unfortunately, the district of Villa El Salvador (in Lima), has a vast amount of domestic violence allegations which mostly goes unnoticed by the (mainly) male police force. This is why, a few years back, the district was the first to create an all-female police force specifically for domestic disputes. Even though Villa is taking steps toward a progressive future, there is still more violence than most anywhere else. While I can't do that much, my plan is to educate the girls about domestic violence and give them all the necessary information about the female police force, which is called DEMUNA (like phone number, email address, locations), just so they are aware it exists and how to get in touch with the organization. Next on the agenda would be to stress the importance of communication within members of a household. I will give each of the girls a piece of paper and an envelope for them to write a letter to either their mother, father, or both, and they will have to write what they are thankful for, and what they wish could be changed and how their parent(s) could bring about that change. I hope to give these sealed envelopes to the girls' homeroom teacher so that she can give each of these letters to the respective parents when they come in for a parent-teacher meeting.

Let's see how it goes.

Fun Fact: I'm getting really into the Peruvian national soccer team. Best players = Vargas and Pizarro. Colors = red and white. Score: beat Paraguay, lost to Chile. People get CRAAAAZZZZYYY over here when Peru wins, and I love love love being in the midst of all the chaos (especially when they win.. like on friday night. I'm pretty sure I was on peruvian television haha)

The Jungle.... 'Nuff Said.

pretty!

canopy walk

hiking :)

Rowing Crew.... in the Amazon?

Beat that East Coast college students ;)

"Turn and Face the Strange"

Honestly, I think the best thing for me to do at this point in my life is to be taking this gap year. While it's only been a month since I arrived here in Lima, I can already feel this year-off working its magic, and I can only imagine what the rest of this year will do for me. These past couple years of my life have been quite stressful, too stressful I think for a 16/17 year-old girl, since at that delicate age, I think every adolescent should be entitled to the frivolous pleasures of their youth. While I definitely have some of the most wonderful memories of this time in my life that I will cherish forever, unfortunately a lot of Junior year and half of Senior year were very academically rigorous, and the last few months of Senior year were emotionally very distressing for me. As a person who doesn't like change, the last few months of Senior Year brought with them a vast amount of just that. Not only was high school ending and I was probably never going to see all my amazing classmates all in one room together again, but if high school was ending, regardless of whether I was going to college or taking my gap year, I was going to have to leave my family behind and start my adult life anew; I was so scared to leave my parents, the people who raised me to be who I am today, and the single people who I will always cherish above all else. In my mind, all this change only signified impending doom, and I noticed myself becoming more withdrawn and sort of unsure of who exactly I was. Up until that point, my greatest bragging right was that I always knew exactly who I was and what it was that I stood for. Sadly though, all my emotional turmoil brought on by such huge changes in my life threatened my self-esteem, and it made me angry that I couldn't just be the way I was before, carefree, boisterous, and joyous. Looking back, I think I felt as if I was carrying a titanic burden on my back made up of all the upcoming change in my life, and carrying that burden pained me.
This process though - this year (mainly) committed to stress-free living and learning about things greater and more important than academic or social success - is helping me already, I can feel it. I have to say deactivating my facebook definitely had a lot to do with this, since right now, I'm trying not to concern myself with the superficiality brought on by technology always being right at our fingertips. As to not live like a total hermit though (... I do have social needs), my closest friends and loved ones have my email address, so I get to hear from all the people I care about; what could be better? With my volunteer work, being by myself, and in a new culture/country, internally I can feel myself relaxing a bit, loosening my grip on all the world's seriousness, and at the same time, learning how to help myself and others in times of trouble and turmoil. Call it a mimicry of Julia Roberts' character in Eat, Pray, Love (that movie stunk by the way), or soul-searching, but I definitely think I'm doing the right thing by being here and doing what I'm doing.


Fun Fact: I'm taking a trip to the Peruvian AMAZON RAINFOREST this weekend.... i'm quite excited! monkeys! tucans! mosquitos! oh my!!! :] :]